


I Have To Do It Today — Tsukishima x Yamaguchi

by satoriink



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:19:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29695620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satoriink/pseuds/satoriink
Summary: Being a third year was very stressful for Tsukishima. The following year, he'll have to leave his house and have his own, settle in a city he did not know and attend university. But the thing he was the most afraid of was being far from Yamaguchi, his childhood friend. Well, more than being apart, he was afraid to leave him without confessing. He had waited too many years for that. He finally decided on admitting his feelings.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	I Have To Do It Today — Tsukishima x Yamaguchi

**Author's Note:**

> CW: slight mentions of alcohol/being drunk (from "On top of that, they both had been drinking" to "The night went on and most part of the group was drunk")
> 
> Spoiler of the manga from "But the funniest part was Kageyama" to "the blond man was jealous of them".

I have to do it today. 

Tsukishima said to himself while waiting for Yamaguchi. It had become a habit since elementary school to walk to class together in the morning. Most of the time, it was really quiet, both boys just enjoying the short trip. Some other times, Yamaguchi talked about what he had done during the weekend or the day prior. On other occasions, the blond boy shared his earphones and they both listened to his playlist. On moments like that, the string's length required for them to be close, allowing their shoulders to brush against each other from time to time. With anybody, Tsukishima would flinch and step back, the idea of sharing earphones did not even cross his mind. But Yamaguchi was definitely not anybody. Tsukishima understood that a day in middle school. He always feinted to be disinterested by the green-haired boy, but he would never forget the weird feeling he had when he saw a girl confessing to Yamaguchi. For the first time in his life, he felt jealous. The feeling was as strong as the time when he discovered his brother was not playing volleyball on the court during official matches. But unlike that time, Tsukishima did not say a thing, nor showed his emotions. He hid it the best he could until he reached home and made sure no one would see him. He also cursed himself for not having close friends beside Yamaguchi. He just could not ask him for advices on a matter that directely concerned the boy. So he decided to just write all of this down.  
Tsukishima had not used his secret journal in a long, it almost felt weird to hold it in his hands. But the moment he started to write the first words, it was as if he was unstoppable. Not only did he talk about his feelings, but also about Yamaguchi himself. He listed everything he found attractive, described his features, talked about his wonderful personality. Tsukishima remember that day very well, the day he wrote four full pages about Yamaguchi.  
He eventually had to face the truth. He had a crush on his best friend. It had been built so quietly that he never really noticed it. He guessed that all those mornings spent walking to school, those nights spent stargazing, those afternoons spent watching dinosaurs or nature related documentaries, all those moments led to him crushing on Yamaguchi. Over the years, Tsukishima knew that it was not just a crush. It could not be. Crushes were not supposed to last that long.  
However, the blond boy always made sure to perfectly hide it. Never once had he let a blush settle on his cheeks, nor a smile cracking up his face. But he was not sure if he could continue to lie if someone was to straight up ask him about it. And it is what happened. On his first year of high school, Sugawara Koushi, a third year, asked him. 

"You love him, right?" 

It was low as the third year knew that he had to keep quiet about the topic. But Tsukishima still had heard the question. He perfectly heard each words. And even though his face did not reddened, his heartbeat fastened. Trying to hold his composure, he simply turned to face Sugawara, who was wearing an annoying smirk, and nodded. What was the point in lying? Maybe admitting it to other people would give him strength to — one day — confess. The third year student gave him a sweet smile and nodded back. Tsukishima felt safe with him knowing how he felt toward Yamaguchi. Sugawara never said he was gay, but he never hid the fact that he was far from being straight, so, in a way, it was reassuring to know that someone was understanding him.  
However, this silent confession did not help him a bit. 

I have to do it today. 

He once again told himself the sentence his inner voice has been repeating for years. Both boys' habits had not change. They still walked to school in the morning, hung out during the weekend, sometimes even after class or after volleyball practices. But it never was the right time. Tsukishima found it too hard to call Yamaguchi's name, to tell him he had something to say, to actually confess. And the blond boy certainly did not want to confess over text or with a phone call. He had to do it while facing Yamaguchi, so he could hold his hands, show how much he cared for him, how much he loved him. He had too. Either way, he would die from sadness and loneliness. It happened hundreds of time when Tsukishima was thinking of doing something with Yamaguchi, things that only couples would do. And the idea of it seemed like heaven. How many times did he imagined himself in his bed, holding Yamaguchi in his arms while reading his favourite book? Or holding his hand as they walked down the street? He even thought about sharing a kiss under the stars. Yamaguchi's face held the most beautiful features, and when only the stars enlightened it, it made it look ethereal. All those shining dots reflecting in his eyes, Tsukishima would die to keep staring at them.  
But none of this could happen if he did not confess. Moreover, they were third years, they had to chose what they would be doing the next year, where they would go. Tsukishima knew that they would still be in contact. It had been years since they knew each other, it was not going to stop just because they lived in different cities. But what if Yamaguchi met someone in his university? What if he became close with someone and started dating them? What if Tsukishima had to witness his loved one being with someone else? At this point, it would be better to die. 

I have to do it today. 

The day already went halfway and Tsukishima was impatient for all of his classes to end. Today was the day the old Karasuno team of when he was a first year would gather. The final exams would start in a month and the twelve men and the only two girls decided on taking a night to meet in a restaurant. It had been planned since a long time as they had to make sure everyone was free.  
Was it better for Tsukishima to confess before or after hanging out with the old volleyball team? If he did before going and got rejected, he could just drink and get comforted by Sugawara. But he would have to bear Yamaguchi's presence, and his sorrow might make him feel guilty. So maybe after was better. 

It was decided. Tonight was the night. 

Even if he would never admit it, Tsukishima had missed the joyful atmosphere, and it was great to see that Tanaka and Nishinoya were still very chaotic. Many times, Ennoshita had to stop them from doing stupid things. The poor guy still had to deal with their elementary children's behaviour. On top of that, they both had been drinking, not helping their brain to properly work, and hardening Ennoshita's task.  
Kinnoshita had a stronger presence now. Only one year passed but he became much more talkative. He was very reactive in the discussions and never hesitated to add details to a story told by one of his friends. He definitely was one of the funniest around the table. The same went with Narita. The boy was less shy and did not stop from telling embarrassing stories of his high school friends. He had been a timid boy but very observant.  
Asahi kind of followed their path, he had become more confident over the past two years. He did not hesitate to speak or laugh his heart out, it truly was good to see him like that. As for Sugawara and Daichi, they still were inseparable. They still were like a 'buy one get one free'. One thing that Tsukishima sure did not miss was Suga's fist hitting his side when the gray-haired male wanted to make fun of him.  
Kiyoko still was as beautiful as ever, breathtaking even. And Tsukishima found it funny to hear Hinata and Yachi — both starting to get drunk — rambling about how pretty she was. But the funniest part was Kageyama being jealous of his boyfriend not giving him enough attention. The both of them started dating right after Katasuno had lost at the nationals on their first year of high school. The blond man was jealous of them, of what they had. He too, wanted to be in a relationship, wanted his feelings to be returned, to be happy with the man he loved.  
Sugawara might have caught the sad look in his eyes because he gently tapped Tsukishima's arms. 

"I need some air, care to come with me a minute?" He said, starting to get up. 

Despite knowing that it only was an excuse so the two of them could privately talk, Tsukishima agreed. Sugawara excused himself and the blond did so too, glancing over Yamaguchi who was having a lively discussion with Yachi and Nishinoya.  
The cold night's wind hit the both of them, sending shivers through all Tsukishima's body. 

"So..." Sugawara started. "I guess you didn't tell him?" 

It sounded like a question, but both men knew it was an affirmation. 

"You guessed right." Tsukishima replied. All of a sudden he felt ashamed. 

It has been two years since Sugawara had known for his crush, but it has been more years since Tsukishima did. Why did he wait? Why did he not take his chance? Why was he so scared? 

"Look," Sugawara sighed, "you already know it but high school ends soon for both of you. And I think you've waited enough."  
"I think so too. But... I just can't. What if he rejects me?" For once, Tsukishima allowed himself to open his heart and talk honestly.  
"And what if he does not? You can't know unless you do it. I'm not saying it will not hurt if he does reject you, but you definitely won't die from it. Plus, you'll finally be certain of what you are for each other. I'm certain Yamaguchi won't mind still being friend with you despite how you feel." 

The older male smiled and laid a hand on Tsukishima's shoulder. 

"Come on, confess already. I know for sure that you will regret it if you don't." 

And Sugawara marked a point with that. Tsukishima would never forgive himself for not acting before it was too late. 

"You're right. I'll tell him tonight." 

With that, they both got inside the restaurant again, only to find Ennoshita trying to stop a shirtless Tanaka from going on the table, encouraged by Nishinoya. The rest of the group was laughing so hard that some of them started to cry. It did not take a long time before Sugawara and Tsukishima joined them in their laughter.  
The night went on and most part of the group was drunk. The owner of the restaurant even asked everyone to leave as it was near 2 AM and she wanted to close her shop. Nishinoya and Tanaka were singing loudly and Daichi begged them to shut their voice down, not wanting the neighbourhood to wake up but also for his own sake. Ennoshita had taken a break from babysitting them and was now talking with Kiyoko, Asahi and Sugawara.  
As for Yamaguchi, he was laughing really loudly at Kageyama and Hinata bickering, and Tsukishima found him really beautiful. The low lightning allowed his freckles to show only a little, and the chill of the night reddened his cheeks a little. 

I am so in love with him. I have to do it now. 

Slowly walking to Yamaguchi, Tsukishima hesitated before slightly tapping his shoulder. He saw the smile on Sugawara's face right before he looked at Yamaguchi. 

"Let's walk home together, I have something I want to tell you." 

Yamaguchi only nodded, smiling. Aside from the gray-haired male, nobody had noticed Tsukishima's words.  
Everyone was now saying goodbye and promised to see each other again after everyone graduated. Of course, the twelve person agreed and wished each other a good night, or at least what was left of the night. The less drunk drove the drunk one back to their apartment, and Yamaguchi waited for Tsukishima to walk with him. It only was a twenty minute walk, but it still was enough for the blond man to confess.  
At first, no one talked. Maybe Yamaguchi wanted Tsukishima not to feel pressured, but he did feel frustrated and impatient. 

"So... What did you want to tell me?" 

The tall male took a deep breath and stopped walking. Yamaguchi did too and looked at him, a little bit confused. 

"See, we've known each other for a long time now, and you are my closest friend, like ever." He paused, his nails digging in his palm's skin, his eyes avoiding Yamaguchi's gaze. "And, god that sounds so cheesy and stuff, but I like you. I've liked you for a long time now but I never had the courage to tell you. I was so afraid of what you would tell me that I never tried. But I guess now is the right time to do it. We will soon be separated and I just can't imagine letting you go without telling you that." 

There was silence and Tsukishima dared to look at Yamaguchi, who did not move an inch. Nervousness started to creep inside of him and he felt his heart beating harder and louder than usual. Then the green-haired male sighed and he looked at the floor. 

"I don't know how to tell you this, but... You shouldn't love me."  
"What? Why?"  
"You said it, soon we won't have as much time to see each other as we do now, we will have our own lives, our own projects." He stopped for a while before speaking again. "And you'll forget me, eventually, you'll get fed up, you'll be distant and we'll break up. So let's not do it." 

So that was the problem? Why was Yamaguchi so sure that Tsukishima would forget him, or even get tired of him? The tall man thought that he had to say something, anything. Yamaguchi had enough courage to voice his fears and insecurities so he had to find the courage to say his true feelings out loud.  
Putting both hands on each of Yamaguchi's shoulders, Tsukishima looked straight into his eyes. 

"I can assure you that I will not get fed up, I won't grow distant. You know why? Because I've been here since elementary school, I've stayed when I could have left thousand of times. I know you think that it won't be the same since we'll probably be miles away, but I've loved you for five years, so I think I can love you for a couple more years, and even more." 

Never Tsukishima thought he would say such a thing out loud, in front of Yamaguchi, to Yamaguchi. The smaller boy was taken aback by those words. 

"Are you sure? I know I can be annoying sometimes-"  
"You're not. You're everything but annoying. I know the way I behave might tell you otherwise but it is not true."  
"But I'll be seeking attention 24/7, I'll send you texts through the day, want to call you every night, want to know everything about your day-"  
"And I'll tell you everything. Remember that time you went to your grand mother's house for three whole months?" Yamaguchi nodded. "Did I ever decline your calls? Did I ignore the letters you send? I know we were kids back then, but I missed you so much." He sighed. "Remember how I hugged you when you get back, I didn't want to let you go ever again." 

Yamaguchi laughed, and Tsukishima thought it was the best sound he could ever hear. 

"I do. You were so clingy I thought you were sick. It was very unusual for you to show that much emotions. That felt weird. A good weird though."  
"Then allow me to show my feelings again. Allow me to make you feel weird again. Please." 

They both looked at each other silently. Tsukishima then thought about the fact that Yamaguchi never rejected him. He did tell him his fears, but he never said he did not feel the same. For the first time, he allowed his cheeks to redden in front of his friend. Yamaguchi then cracked a smile and laughed. Tsukishima looked at him, confused. 

"Sorry, you... You just look so cute when you blush." The sentence made the bond's cheeks grow even hotter. "You should let it happen more often, it looks good on you."  
"Shut up." He whispered, not thinking the words he just spoke. 

Once again, Yamaguchi laughed and the fake frown on Tsukishima's face disappeared. 

"Now tell me, do you want to try? Even though we won't see each other every day after we graduate?"  
"Yes. But more than trying, let's success!" 

Tsukishima felt so happy at the moment. To be completely honest, he never felt that happy before. He wanted to hug Yamaguchi so bad, to keep him tight between his arms and to never let go of him. And he did embraced the green-haired man. 

"Oh my god. I love so much." He said whispering.  
"I love you too." Yamaguchi answered and Tsukishima swore he felt his heart skipping several beats.  
"Maybe it's too sudden, but... May I kiss you?" He asked carefully.  
"Of course. Why won't you kiss your boyfriend." 

If love could kill, Tsukishima sure would be dead by now. But he still found the strength to remain calm. His hands cupping Yamaguchi's face, his lips slowly touched his boyfriend's. It felt so good, for the both of them. It was something they both had waited for a long time and were finally getting. It was soft and sweet, slightly tasting like the food and beverages they had at the restaurant during the evening. They eventually parted and looked at each other. 

"I never knew what it felt like to kiss someone, but I sure wasn't prepared for that."  
"Then do it again and get used to it." 

Tsukishima froze for a moment. Confidence looked so good on Yamaguchi. And he went in to kiss him again, already missing the sensation of Yamaguchi's lips against his own. They stayed like this for a moment, enjoying it and carving it in their mind. The smaller man then broke the kiss and reopened his eyes. 

"You know, I'm really glad you confessed. I just told myself that it was an unrequited love, that you never saw me as more than a friend. I guess I was too much of an idiot not to see it."  
"Don't say that about yourself." Tsukishima was quick to react. "I was the one who never showed anything, even until tonight. I always made sure you weren't around when I needed to scream my love for you. You laugh, but it is true!"  
"I believe you, I believe you!" He stopped laughing and took Tsukishima's hand in his. "Let's go home, shall we?" 

The blond only nodded and tighten his grip on Yamaguchi's hand. It was still hard to believe that they finally were boyfriends.  
The night was calm and both boys enjoyed each other's presence. From time to time, they would throw glances at each other, as if to make sure they were still there and did not disappear in the middle of the road. Unfortunately, they arrived at Yamaguchi's house. Neither of them wanted to let go of the other, but they eventually had to. Slowly, Tsukishima walked in front of Yamaguchi, cupping his face with his hands. 

How can such a beautiful man be mine? How come I am his, now? 

Tsukishima still had trouble believing it. But he was brought back to reality when Yamaguchi's voice made its way through his brain. 

"Are you going to kiss me goodbye, or not?" He asked, half teasing and half impatient. 

Saying that Tsukishima was taken aback by those words was an understatement. Yamaguchi was not the type to initiate anything. But the blond boy had to admit that he liked it a lot.  
He smiled and leaned over, pressing his lips on his boyfriend's. The kiss did not last as long as the first they shared, but it was enough time to communicate how much they loved each other. Pulling away, Tsukishima smiled at his boyfriend. 

"You know, you should be confident more often. It really looks good on you." Yamaguchi laughed slightly.  
"I'll try and make an effort for you then." 

The tall boy nodded, and let go of Yamaguchi's hand. He would like to hold it for the rest of his life but he knew it was impossible. At least for the moment. 

"I don't have any plans for tomorrow." Yamaguchi then said.  
"Let's do something together then."  
"Yes. It'll be our first date." 

At that, Tsukishima felt his face warming and he thanked the low lightning that did not allow Yamaguchi to see it clearly.  
Finally waving goodbye, the blond boy took a few steps back, watching his boyfriend get inside his house. He now was the happiest man on earth.  
He walked a few minutes before he could step into his own house. He still felt like in a dream while taking off his shoes. But he jumped a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"What the-"  
"Hey, that's only me." Akiteru said, slightly laughing.  
"You scared me." Kei sighed, not expecting his brother to still be awake.  
"I know. How was your meeting?" 

In the span of a few seconds, the main events of the night replayed in his head. He let a smile taking place on his face. 

"Better than I expected. Goodnight Akiteru." 

Kei's brother was taken aback. It has been a while since he had seen his brother smile, genuinely smile.  
Entering his room, tiredness took over happiness. Tsukishima quickly changed into his pyjamas and went to the bathroom. He saw himself in the mirror, he too had almost forgotten how he looked with a smile on his face. It made him feel good to see it though. Brushing his teeth, he then remembered how Suga wanted him to confess, how he told him he had all his chances. The college man had to know how the end of the night went.  
Returning to his room, he quickly took his phone and wrote a message, sending it immediately. He did not expect an answer as it was pretty late — or early depending in how you looked at it. 

From: Tsukishima   
To: Suga-san  
I did it. Thank you. 

It was five little words, but it meant enough. Tsukishima knew that Suga would understand it perfectly well. Maybe he will tease him during a few days, but Tsukishima honestly did not care. He was Yamaguchi's boyfriend, and Yamaguchi was his, it was what mattered the most.  
Laying on his bed, the blond boy thought about the day coming. He will spend it with his boyfriend. 

"It'll be our first date." 

And Tsukishima could not be more excited about it. He never felt this good, and he knew that even more beautiful days were to come.  
With Yamaguchi by his side, nothing could ever happen to him.


End file.
